Okay, I know I'm not in a particularly charitable mood today. But enough already from JeneetheFABulouscolumnist at my local newspaper.
This woman couldn't write her way out of a paper bag, much less does she deserve to write ON a paper bag.
Past columns have covered the following topics: mail left at an old address; wearing sweats to a restaurant when all the other ladies are in hats; a car stuck on an icy patch in a parking lot--tears ensue "'cause Ah'm gonna diiiiieeeeeee! Aloooooonnnnnne!" (we can only friggin' hope, sweetheart
My friend Kay and I share snarky remarks about her wordsmithery whenever the local rag finds it has a giant hole to fill and rather than print "Wipe butt here" they run JeneetheFABulouscolumnist's insipid drivel.
Kay has come up with a list of ideas for you, cookie. In case you can't find anymore inspiration in your Mary Kay make-up kit or the refrigerator.