Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Holy Spirit Lives in My Bathroom

I'll get to the above in a minute, but first the Ashbaby. 'Cause the two are related.

On the left is THE Ashbaby. He is, without question, the Best Cat in the Universe. Yes, he is. No, I'm sorry, I beg to differ, your cat is sensational, fabulous, wonderful and marvelous, I am absolutely certain. But THE Ashbaby is the best cat in the Universe. I will not be budged.

So. THE Ashbaby is all bugged-out this morning because it's not hot. He's growling, yapping, chirping, squalling and climbing the walls (really, he does that) and chasing his tail and running back and forth from bed, through the kitchen, into the bathroom, where he starts climbing the walls. He jumps in the tub and starts yowling. It's Clem's job to play with him in the tub. It's my job to pick up this 20lb cat and walk him around the house so he can stare at the ceiling and anything hanging on a wall low enough for him to chew on.

Now we get ready for work, and THE Ashbaby goes racing back into the bathroom where he starts yowling and squalling and jumping on the walls and chasing his tail and playing the cello (cat people know what this is). He's making those low throaty growling sounds and Clem sez, "I think the Ashbaby is speaking in tongues. He's caught the Spirit!" And I say, "So the cat has found Jesus in the tub drain? Wow! The Holy Spirit lives in our bathroom! Where are those Jehovah's Witnesses now?"

Related story: The Jehovah's Witnesses like to knock on our door on Saturday mornings. Now, Clem and I are not exhibitionists or naturalists, but it's our house, dammit, and I will walk around in boxer shorts with the windows open if I want to. And I can't stop Clem from jaybird attire. It's his house, too. And you can't see anything unless you're at the front door. And we can see you coming before you get to the front door. Except for that one Saturday when we didn't see the Jehovah's Witnesses. But they saw plenty. Hee. Do we want to be saved? "I got yr salvation righchere, sweetheart!"

So, I'm wondering. Has THE Ashbaby got religion or is he just having a party in his mind? And if I pour Liquid Plumr down the drain am I going to hell?

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